I'm not Enough

I'm not Enough

Episode 1

For years, Emily harbored insecurities that grew deep roots with each passing year. Overtime, these insecurities shaped her worldview, self image and perception of life. All she saw was the inadequacies in her life: How more beautiful other girls were, how more wealthy other parents were compared to hers, and how her peers got better opportunities compared to her.

But unbeknownst to her, these people she admired and before whom she felt so inadequate admired her greatly. Emily was naturally intelligent and spoke with grace. Not only was she eloquent, Emily was a sight to behold with her fine natural hair, well shaped face, and spotless skin.  

What’s more, Emily had the quality of being easily liked. She was the kind of person you liked for no reason. But deep down, she struggled to like herself to the level others admired her. 

Because of her perception of reality, Emily was always caught up in webs of assumptions. She interpreted every misdeed metted to her, whether wittingly or inadvertently, as a confirmation of what she already thought of herself. 

Although she was rarely treated unfairly due to the fact that many loved her, she used the few times she was treated unfairly to consolidate the beliefs she had buried inside. As  a result, her insecurities continued to gain root. 

Although Emily projected a calm exterior, she was troubled inside. Only her closest friends had a clue of this discrepancy between her inner and outer self.  No matter how much she tried to balance the scale, her inner self prevailed when she wasn't around her companions on whose strength she relied on to project her calm and confident image. 

Emily’s problem had originated in a place that for centuries, has been known as a  breeding ground for people with personality problems. Ironically, this same place has also been known to be the breeding ground for people with strong character traits, high self esteem, and sometimes, high egos. 

This breeding ground was the source of personality strengths and weaknesses and determined which ones gained sway of a person’s identity. Unfortunately for Emily, the breeding ground that shaped her personality was marshalled by people who have been trying to escape from the insecurities that haunted them their whole life. In their bid to help young Emily escape these insecurities, they ended up rubbing them on her. 

Continued in Episode II

Story: Bolaji Seyi

Image: Pixabay.com